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Adult Grief Program for Small Groups - Lesson 6
Station Five on the Journey: “Integration”
Process:
Facing Shattered Dreams and Broken Hearts
Guiding Word: “Now”
Guiding Question: 3rd Eye Meditation:
Where is your mountain of grief? What does it look like?
Guiding Quotation: Simran Singh
“The ever-growing Mountain of Grief is exactly what will support you in
understanding your personal power and ability to create.”
Invitation to the Project: Shattering
Meditation or Closing Quotation: “The Now”
Adapted from the writings of Eckhart Tolle
Check in: Pass the talking stick to the left (from the heart)
Guiding Word: “Now”
Guiding question:
What is your personal experience with broken dreams and shattered heart?
Teaching point:
Facilitate a 3rd Eye Meditation: The Mountain of Grief
From the vision of your 3rd eye, imagine your personal Mountain of Grief.
Once you get a really good sense of the size and shape of it, see if you can visualize where it is in relation to you. Are you carrying it, shouldering it, climbing it….where is it? Is it sitting on you or far off in the distance?
Now take a few minutes and draw the image in your notebook or journal.
What is the message? What are you being shown about yourself in relation
to your grief?
Explanation: This teaching point is a great in-class experience that is so enlightening and clarifying. Every participant enjoys it and is definitely moved by what comes out on the page.
To facilitate this point, invite closed eyes and a stilling of the mind. Allow time for this. Invite a white board to appear in the 3rd eye, that place between the brows. The white board is empty. Invite participants to ask for an image of their mountain of grief. Allow plenty of time. When participants have an image, they go right to work in their journals to depict the mountain AND their juxtaposition to it. Maintain silence while everybody has time to process this experience.
Now invite a lovely sharing of images and experiences. So great!
Follow up and sharing:
Share the experience of “weaving” this past week.
Invitation to the project: If you haven’t already done so, take a look at our article, How to take care of yourself
Take a hammer and gently break something; or work with paper or some other medium. With broken hearts and shattered dreams in mind, see what wants to happen as you make an effort to bring this object or image back into wholeness. What is the lesson of the process?
Even if your life feels shattered, even when your heart is broken, you can put your lives back together. Yes, it will be a different life, but it can be great and beautiful in a new way.
Facilitator: introduce your example of “shatterings” and suggest all the many ways that we can work with this metaphor
Explanation: This is another wonderful and healing project. We’ve done many of these and have also seen some fabulous things done by other participants!
I’m remembering a lovely widow who gently broke a favorite cup that her husband had loved. Then she went to work gluing and re-assembling the cup as best as she could. She commented to the class, that the cup is almost as good as ever – except for the tiny hole that she couldn’t fill. “Our love is whole and complete. There’s just that little hole I couldn’t fix. Maybe that’s the hole in my heart. Nothing can fill it.”
Another wonderful example of shattering is a large, clear vase that holds many pieces of colored broken glass, bits and shards of broken hearts and shattered dreams. The vase sits near a window where it catches the sun and reflects the light. It’s a thing of beauty. I’m looking at it now.
A visit to Goodwill or a thrift store is a great starting place to find just the perfect object!
Be sure to exercise caution as you go about the shattering business! Safety glasses, and a pair of gloves are “musts”. Have your little hammer and glue ready, one that will adhere to glass or whatever material you are using. Clear your work space and set up a work table covered with a cloth or newspaper. I worked in my backyard – perfect! And a lot of fun!
Closing question: Complete the sentences:
“If I hold onto the pain of……………..,
It prevents me from…………………..”
Closing quotation: Marjorie Hewitt Suchocki
Closing meditation: “The Now”
Handouts:
Paige Bradley image of “shattered”
“In the Bag”:
Lesson #6 Talking stick
Notebook/Journal Tablecloth
Box of pens Candle/Lighter
Tissues Shattered object
Singing bowl or bell
Loss line
“The ever-growing
Mountain of Grief
is exactly what will
support you
in understanding your
personal power and
ability to create.”
~ Simran Singh
“The edges of God are tragedy
The depths of God are joy, beauty,
resurrection, life;
Resurrection answers crucifixion;
Life answers death.”
~ Marjorie Hewitt Suchocki
Meditation: Now
Lesson Six
Adapted from the writings of Eckhart Tolle
This one moment – Now – is the only thing you can never escape from, the one
constant factor in your life. No matter what happens, no matter how much your
life changes, one thing is certain: it’s always Now.
Since there’s no escape from the Now, why not welcome it, become friendly with
it?
When you make friends with the present moment, you feel at home no matter
where you are. When you don’t feel at home in the Now, no matter where you
go, you will carry unease with you.
To have your attention in the Now is not a denial of what is needed in your life. It
is recognizing what is primary. Then you can deal with what is secondary with
great ease. It is not saying, “I’m not dealing with things anymore because there is
only the Now.” No. Find what is primary first, and make the Now into your friend,
not your enemy. Acknowledge it, honor it. When the Now is the foundation and
primary focus of your life, then your life unfolds with ease.
Ultimately you are not taking responsibility for life until you take responsibility for
this moment – Now. This is because Now is the only place where life can be
found.
Taking responsibility for this moment means not to oppose internally the
“suchness” of Now, not to argue with what is. It means to be in alignment with
life. Ask yourself this question: Am I in alignment with life?
When you say “yes” to what is, you become aligned with the power and
intelligence of Life itself. Only then can you become an agent for positive change
in the world
When your attention moves into the Now, there is an alertness. It is as if you
were waking from a dream, the dream of thought, the dream of past and future.
Such clarity, such simplicity No room for problem-making. Just the moment as it